Friday, May 3, 2013

My Hot And Cold Partnership With OKCupid

It is so simple to meet folks, but so tough to come across somebody worth canceling my date with my Netflix queue for.

It is that time of your year when individuals are obtaining drinks outside, couples are PDA-ing, and I’m re-activating my OKCupid profile. I have a notorious reputation for regularly deleting and reactivating that damned profile. I believe in Internet really like! No, I’m a misanthrope! I choose to come across my soul mate! Soul mates don’t exist!

You see, I’m a total serial dater. No, not a serial monogamist -- I’ve only had a single true boyfriend and he gave me a box of condoms for my birthday -- but a serial dater. If you mindlessly click by means of a sea of ineligible bachelors lengthy enough, it’s fairly simple to secure a week’s worth of dates.

I pencil dudes in like they're medical professional appointments. (Tom at 11 a.m. on Tuesday? Sure. Luke at 7 p.m. on Wednesday? That functions. ) Many people suggest that I have the dating habits of an addict -- I require it! No, I entirely can reside with no it! No, wait, I can not! I’d prefer to say that I’m just filled with that issue called eternal hope.

The problem is, it’s fairly simple to uncover one thing wrong with everybody. John operates a full-time job and just loves kickball, so naturally, he’s not creative. Jim is posing inside a image with his dog, so Fluffy will become a a part of our sex lives. Mike cannot spell “definite,” and Steve is in a band and is unemployed. Dan appears promising, but only desires to bone. Mark loves me, but that is creepy. Joe thinks I’m a workaholic, Josh referred to as me out on getting unsuccessful in my 20s (please tell me what results in my 20s is, Joe), Phil is practicing abstinence, Dennis doesn’t drink, Scott is a full-fledged alcoholic, Jared’s penis is deceptively compact, Paul is truly superior looking until we got into bed, Michael can not pronounce my last name, Seth says he hates Jews, Seth IS JEWISH, and I just gained 10 pounds from eating my feelings after a week’s worth of miserable dates, so now I have to delete my profile for the reason that I Do not Look LIKE MY Images Anymore.

What’s wrong with me? Why do not I like anybody? Why, World-wide-web, do you fill me with hope like a Disney princess on steroids when it’s all just a fallacy? It’s so easy to meet men and women, but so difficult to come across someone worth canceling my date with my Netflix queue for. But just after numerous nights of sweatpants and Netflix, not only is it time for a go to to my waxer, but I get a bit lonely. So, I log on to OKCupid, click “reactivate,” along with the vicious cycle starts again.

I have realized that the web has created a perpetual cycle of disappointment and loneliness. In this electronic ocean, it’s not possible to become happy. But I’m also realizing that it’s up to me to generate standards. Like: look like your photos, possess a penis and at the least a single thumb.

Let me expound on that -- the standards portion. I might not have stringent requirements, per se, but I definitely have created qualifiers, and I know what I look at unacceptable within a dating situation. I only could have gotten to that point by going on dates, so probably my hot and cold relationship with OKCupid is indicative of extra than just my hot and cold character, but is demonstrating that OKCupid is, in truth, doing one thing appropriate.

Before making my very first online profile, I had no thought what was OK and not OK by me. (I do not like misogynists. WHO KNEW!?) My disappointment (or cynicism as some may possibly contact it), can be viewed as a sign of strength: it’s me recognizing that I will not settle. I also have exchanged the usual “Does he like me?” for “But do I like him?” A person calling me soon after a initially date is no longer a cause for me to stock up on lacy panties. I know all of this due to OKCupid. Penis pumps are the best toy for men to erect the penis quickly.

So, if deleting my profile can be a testament to my new, more solidified sense of self, then probably reactivating my profile is demonstrating something even bigger: the potential have hope against all odds. Every time I put myself available yet once again, I’m creating myself vulnerable, which can be downright scary. I nonetheless have managed to keep that wide-eyed sense of optimism, in spite of all the disappointment. Cock Ring help men create a harder and firmer erections that will last longer during the sex.

And -- I’m about to wax philosophical right here -- you may only get disappointed should you were had hope within the 1st place and you can only delete should you were vulnerable adequate to activate in the first location. Hence it is possible to only reactivate should you ever deleted, which is the equivalent of receiving back up after crashing head, heart, or vagina very first into a poor date.

1 comment:

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