Ever wondered what would take place should you told “the whole truth and nothing at all however the truth”? I’ve come to a point in my life and in my relationship exactly where that's one of my highest requirements - that I must totally be correct to what’s on my heart. But years ago, when I initially started heading down this path, I wasn’t at a place personally or relationally that supported such a venture. And also the results were almost disastrous!
When The Truth Hurts
A lot of years ago, when I had only been
married a brief time, I came home wanting to share with my husband a brand new and interesting thought I’d been pondering. I wasn’t confident how he would take it. OK, I was pretty positive he wouldn’t take it nicely … but I was hopeful.
I felt burdened by my encounter and assumed that my companion would have at the very least some interest in dropping in with me (it was my unspoken best of what appreciate looked like-that we care deeply about what's essential to one another) - so I ventured to say:
“Have you ever noticed somebody, you understand, like around the street, or whilst you have been in your automobile waiting at a cease light and believed to oneself, “Hmmm, I wonder what my life will be like correct now if I married that guy?” He stood, eyebrows raised, expressionless, poised like a soldier provided marching orders, and walked away devoid of saying a word…for two weeks.
Lying By Omission
Aha. Just as I suspected (frankly, as my mother warned me), men don’t wish to hear this sort of point. You understand - items like: how many guys you might have genuinely slept with, if you’ve ever experienced pleasure outside of your relationship with them, if you’re frightened, insecure, needy-and they unquestionably do not need to hear that you're at present asking yourself what it might be like to be with any person else apart from them.
To be fair and, well, honest, precisely the same seems to hold accurate for us women; we aren’t so keen on hearing that our beloved has just fantasized about an additional life with some other woman (or man). We don’t would like to hear that YES he believed that woman who just walked by was Gorgeous and had fabulous breasts, butt, eyes, what ever. Nor do we need to hear that lately the partnership isn’t spicy enough, or that they have temporarily lost interest in sex, or are taking into consideration that possibly this really is not the connection they signed on for…and on and on.
So what to accomplish? Simply because I’m curious - and realized I’d hit a nerve - I took this show around the road. I gathered a studio audience filled with males (I was quite clear on where we women stood on the matter) and dragged 40 of them down the rabbit hole with me, determined for them to give it up. To cough up the truth, the whole truth and practically nothing but…their truth. Thank God (dess) they came along willingly!
Invariably, each and every man told a equivalent story as I passed the microphone around. They choose to say it (the truth, that yes, they were seeking and liked what they saw), but they really feel that the women cannot manage the truth and they would suffer the consequences or punishment (typically a withhold of sex). So the males determine, it is not worth it. (For the record, most women don’t tell the truth mainly because we fear guys will leave and we have to have them to remain, so we as well withhold such truths). I declare to my men that all the above ultimately turns to poison and kills the relationship-a slow, however lethal seepage of lie-onide. And ask, what, if anything, might be accomplished and wait to find out who cares.
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Handling The Truth
A couple of brave men raise their hands and say they're going to bite the bullet, that they are tired in the game, choose to be absolutely free and see regardless of whether the harm can be avoided with some compassion, patience and valor. My heart swells, I provide copious hugs and close the show hopeful for all relationships now and within the future.
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Irrespective of the topic matter, I stay a faithful servant towards the liberating phrase, The truth shall set you cost-free. And now fill my life with persons young and old devoted for the truth, whose hearts swell with compassion and expand with courage to venture towards higher freedom of becoming. Because of these brave guys and my devotion towards the truth, I'm ever grateful and am no longer afraid to drop what's not achievable to possess. Blessings!
